You Have Cat to be Kitten Me
by HollyBlue2
Summary: Crack!Fic for a contest that was run on Tumblr where by Dean gets turned into a cat by Cas.


**You Have Cat To Be Kitten Me!**

It was a bright and early morning in the bunker, well, it would be if there were windows. However, Dean had gone on his morning run as he usually did. Hold on, Dean running? I don't think so; Sam went on his morning run while Dean stayed in his wonderfully warm bed (now that's more like it). There was a crash as the bunker door slammed shut and that decided when got Dean out of his bed and through to their kitchen. Sam had jogged –hadn't he just been on a run (why run more?) – down the stairs into the kitchen.

"Coffee, Sam?" Dean asked, gathering the stuff he needed, whether Sam had one or not, Dean wanted – no, needed – his morning caffeine rush. Sam shook his head, hair floofing about around him. Dean was sure that it needed cutting, had tried to cut it while Sam was sleeping once, didn't turn out so well though. "What do you mean no?" Exclaimed Dean, in absolute shock horror, a Winchester without a coffee; that was unheard of! His brother was rather strange these days. Without waiting for an answer, Dean poured himself a cup, no sugar or frothy milk like Sam made his, in a mug that Sam had got him for his birthday, it was pink with 'I'm a pretty princess!' written on it in bubbly writing.

"No, thanks, I'm uhh, going to do some more exercise." Sam emphasised the 'exercise' bit by flexing his biceps and pointing over to their new gym room. Dean had never been in, Dean was allergic to exercise, he was sure of it.

Anyway, the third member of the bunker still hadn't shown his face that morning, which prompted Dean to investigate. Knocking on the door to the bedroom down the half from his, he heard a gasp and muffled talking. Furrowed brow, Dean knocked again and entered. Sat on the edge of his bed, hands clasped together sat Cas. He had a startled look on his face (which he has quite often).

"Who were you talking to, Cas?" Dean asked, looking around the room and not seeming to find anything out of the ordinary.

"No one, Dean. Look, there's no one." He replied, fidgeting and trying to look innocent, his ocean blue eyes looking up at him. He must've got that from Sam, damn him and those damn puppy dog eyes! Dean nodded, pushing his tongue out on to his lip and pulling it back in again. It was then that he heard an odd noise. Dean looked at Cas expectantly, one eyebrow half cocked (you know like a parent would do when their child does something dubious), waiting for an explanation.

"So…" He moved further into the small room, and tried to find the source of the noise, there weren't many places anything could hide, so he ducked down under the bed before jumping back in surprise at what he saw (or thought he saw).

"Jesus," He exclaimed.

"Actually, Dean, I'm Castiel." He deadpanned (typical him).

"What – what, WHAT!" He stuttered, ignoring Cas' remark. Cas just looked at him, head crooking to one side in confusion. "Cas, there is a CAT UNDER YOUR BED!" He told him (as if Cas didn't know).

"I like cats though. Cats are great, they're really soft, and easy to talk to and you can pet them and play with them and –"Cas drifted off to who knows where (probably cat-land or somewhere). "Heyyy, I could show you how much I like cats! Cas stood up and took the cat from under the bed which turned out to be a tubby ginger cat with a flat face. Holding the cat in one arm, he pressed to fingers to Dean's head to send his happy cat thoughts over to him.

"See! Aren't they great?" Cas asked.

"I didn't see any- meow." Dean's eyes widened. He coughed a couple of times. "I didn't – meow." He glared at Cas. "Meow! Meow!"

"That's funny, Dean," Cas told him, unaware of what he had done to Dean.

Dean's light brown stubble on his chin began to lengthen and more hair began to appear on his face. Fluff appeared on his hands that were turning rapidly into paws. Cas seemed to grow in size (or at least Dean was shrinking to cat size) and fluffy fluff finally took over and Dean had become a cat. A cute tortoiseshell cat with bright green eyes and brown, dark brown and ginger fur.

"SAM! SAM! Come and look, he's so cute! Dean, he's so cute!" Cas picked up the now-feline Dean and rushed out the door to the gym room. "Dean's a cute little kitty, Sam!"

"CAS! What the hell have you done!?" He shouted. Cat Dean was wriggling around in Cas' grip trying to free himself in a blind panic. He should not be a cat, why the hell was he a cat? What had Cas done to him?

"He's a kitty!" He tells him, the award winning Captain Obvious. He turns Dean round to face him and kisses him on the nose. Sam could swear the cat was glaring at him.

"Change him back, Cas!" He scolded. "I mean it's cute, and he'll never live this down, but seriously Cas; change him back!"

Cas looked down at the floor and then at Dean's glaring cat face. The cute tortoiseshell with bright green eyes looking at him as if he were going to kill him (no surprise really). "Do I have to?" He wondered and looked from Sam to Dean and Dean (cat Dean, that is), nodded. That settled it, Cas held Dean in one hand and reversed what he did earlier.

Dean began to grow, his paws returned to hands and his fluffy face returned to the gruff stubble. His eyes, now human shaped, still retained that green cat eye colour like they always had.

"Ugh. Cat's suck." Dean said and sneezed several times in a row. "Seriously, Cas. Never again." He said when he had a break from sneezing.


End file.
